


Jealousy

by vjs2259



Category: Babylon 5
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-02-25
Updated: 2007-02-25
Packaged: 2018-02-10 14:09:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2028000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vjs2259/pseuds/vjs2259
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Ceremonies of Light and Dark gapfiller. Delenn experiences a new emotion, and Stephen helps her understand it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jealousy

Delenn lay back in the bed. She had tried to sit up again, but the wound in her back was still too painful for her to maintain that position comfortably. It was very late. Most of the medical staff had gone off duty, leaving a skeleton staff for the late night hours. The lights in the main room had been dimmed. The few people that were there were not visible to her, although she could hear a distant murmur of conversation and occasional laughter. She had sent Lennier away a few hours before; he had wanted to stay and watch through the night, but that was uncomfortably reminiscent of the sleep-watching ritual. And it was not with Lennier that she wanted to continue that particular ritual. This thought brought her back to what was keeping her awake despite exhaustion, pain, and the sedatives Stephen had insisted she take. She shifted again, trying to find a position that did not hurt.

 

The command staff of the station had come to her in MedLab to perform a limited version of the Minbari rebirth ceremony. She had been incredibly moved by their determination to fulfill her wish to complete the ritual. Thinking back to the secrets they had chosen to share with her, she had to admire their willingness to open up to her. Michael and Stephen’s declarations worried her; they seemed to reveal weaknesses that could be fateful in the difficult times to come. Still, all she could do was watch over them. Their secrets were not hers to share.

 

She heard the doors to the main room in MedLab One open, and males voices, soft but clear. Turning her head to look through the glass window enclosing her hospital bed, she saw John and Marcus conversing. She couldn't hear what they were saying, but her heart leapt at the thought that John had come to see her. She hadn't been able to speak to him during the ceremony, and although she tried to convey her appreciation of what he had said with her eyes and her expression and the touch of her hand, she wanted to make sure he understood. She wanted to see Marcus as well. She understood his particular skills had been instrumental in her rescue, and she wished to thank him in person.

 

The door opened again, and Susan entered. She went up to John and laid her hand on his arm, gesturing towards the open door. John looked over towards Delenn, obviously not seeing that she was awake, with a wistful expression. He spoke to Marcus, who nodded and spoke to Susan. But Susan kept moving John towards the door, obviously indicating she needed him for something. Marcus said something that made John laugh, then John patted Susan on the shoulder, and they all three left the room without a backward glance. Her eyes stung with tears of frustration and loneliness. She almost wished she had let Lennier stay.

 

It seemed the Universe constantly conspired to leave her alone and friendless. She shifted position again, and the pain seemed to echo her feelings, strengthening and flowing upwards to stab at her heart. Would she ever be able to show her feelings for John as openly as Susan could? To reach out and casually touch his arm, to take his hand in public…that was something she longed to be able to do, and yet dared not. Only a few days before, when she had returned from Minbar to aid in the battle, he had kissed her hand, and she had taken his arm, stood in his casual embrace. But those actions took place in the aftermath of their victory, and could be explained by the joy of the moment. If only she had been able to talk with him after the ceremony! She needed to know what his declaration meant. It was still possible she was misinterpreting his words, his gestures. She thought not, but she still knew little about human emotions, including her own.

 

She kept thinking about Susan's easy friendship with John, and began to wonder if there was something more behind it. That they had known each other before John had taken command of Babylon 5, she knew. But how well had they known one another? She knew humans often had multiple relationships, ranging from friendship to casual intimacy to soul-bonding as the Minbari knew it, and with multiple partners. Susan had shared her secret today--that she thought she had loved Talia. Religious caste Minbari did not disapprove of same-sex relationships, at least among young people. Usually such experimentation ceased after the ceremony of adulthood, but it was also accepted that there were those whose inclinations were fixed that way. The Warrior caste was more open as a practical matter, since they favored single sex crews on their warships. She did not really know what the Worker caste taught, but she understood they were generally more open about sexual matters than the other castes.

 

So if Susan had loved Talia before, what were her feelings towards John now? Perhaps she was looking for solace with him. It would be easy for her to turn to a fellow officer, a friend. John could respond openly, without any secrecy or embarrassing explanations. As an alien ambassador, fettered by the interminable rituals demanded by status and caste; it would be hard to compete. Tears began to flow down her cheeks. She knew it was unreasonable, but somehow she couldn't stop the emotions cascading through her troubled mind. She almost hated Susan for her constant interruptions. She couldn't be deliberately putting obstacles between them, could she? She tried to turn onto her side to hide her face from anyone observing, but the sudden pain made her gasp aloud.

 

"Hey, what's wrong? Is that hurting you? Why didn't you call someone?" Stephen’s voice showed his concern. He had been doing his last rounds before calling it a night. He had noticed some anomalous readings in Delenn's telemetry, and stopped in to check on her.

 

“I am all right, Stephen.”

 

“You’re crying…does it hurt that much?”

 

“No, I mean yes, it does hurt. But that is not the cause, the reason…that’s not why.”

 

Stephen pulled up a chair to sit beside her bed. “Tell me what’s wrong. Maybe I can help.”

 

“I do not wish to discuss this. Thank you anyway. Perhaps I could have something more for the pain?”

 

“Delenn,” replied Stephen gently. “It might help to talk. There is something called doctor-patient confidentiality. Whatever it is, it wouldn’t leave this room.”

 

“I am feeling…very alone, right now. Even though I realize that everyone has other duties, I rather expected, no wanted, some company tonight,” she admitted softly.

 

Stephen smiled a little to himself. He warranted that she would prefer someone in particular to keep her company. The Captain’s part of the rebirth ceremony that afternoon had not gone completely unnoticed by the rest of the command staff. Nor had his actions when Delenn returned to Babylon 5 with her fleet.

 

Delenn remained silent. She wasn’t sure she understood her own feelings, much less how to communicate them. She began slowly, “Some people stopped by earlier. I think they thought I was asleep.”

 

“Who was it?”

 

“The Captain, and Marcus. Then Susan came in, with a message I believe. I couldn’t hear what any one said. Then they all left.”

 

She sounded utterly bereft. Stephen shook his head. One of them should have checked on her before leaving. She had to be feeling pretty vulnerable after being kidnapped, threatened with torture, and then badly wounded. “I’m sure they were just busy. There are so many things going on right now.”

 

“I know. I know that very well. I do not mean to be selfish. Susan always has a good reason for what she does.”

 

Stephen was a bit taken aback at this. Why the focus on Susan? Surely she had just been the messenger. Then a light dawned on him. It was possible Delenn was jealous. He didn’t know if the Minbari even felt jealousy, but her human side could be coming to the fore.

 

Delenn continued, “I am sure it was something important to draw John…and Marcus, away without even seeing if I was awake. How I was doing.” Then she sighed wearily, “It’s always something important.”

 

Stephen thought for a moment, trying to decide how to proceed with this delicate conversation. It was obvious the pain, the emotional turmoil, and the potent cocktail of sedatives and painkillers she had taken had temporarily loosened her natural reserve. He didn’t want her confiding anything she would later regret, but he felt strongly that keeping her feelings bottled up would delay her healing, both physical and emotional.

 

He decided to approach the problem from another angle. “Would you like me to track down Marcus for you? I know he wanted to see you.”

 

“No, I am sure he is busy with important matters. Besides I believe he would rather spend his time with Susan.”

 

Stephen looked nonplussed for a moment, “Marcus…and Susan? That’s an eye-opener! How do you feel about that?”

 

“How should I feel? Marcus is a friend, no, more like a younger brother. If he can find happiness with someone, I would rejoice for him. I do not know that Susan reciprocates his interest however.”

 

Again, an uncomfortable, worried look filled her eyes. Stephen saw an opening. “Did you know about Susan’s brother, Delenn?”

 

“No, I didn’t. I did not know she had any family still this side of the Rim. I remember hearing when her father died a year or so ago, and I knew her mother died when she was a child. Where is her brother?”

 

“I remember John telling me about Ganya. He served on the Lexington under John during the war.”

 

Delenn flinched at the mention of the war. “What did John say about him?”

 

“He died. In the battle against the Black Star. As the highest ranking officer that survived, John wrote the letters to the families of those who didn’t make it. He remembered Ganya mentioning his younger sister, and wrote a letter to her as well as to Ganya’s father. He said he would have wanted someone to think of his sister Elizabeth if it had happened to him.”

 

“Did John know Susan then?”

 

Stephen appreciated the spark of interest in his patient’s eyes. She had lost the weary, unhappy look she had when they began their conversation. “No, he met her later, on Io. Susan went out of her way to find him and thank him for that letter. John told me he always thought of her as a little sister after that. They corresponded when they could, and he was very happy to find her stationed here when he took command.”

 

“A….sister,” Delenn repeated, as if to herself. She settled back into the tilted bed, and said, “Thank you, Stephen. I am feeling better now. Perhaps I can sleep.”

 

“Pleasant dreams, Ambassador,” replied the doctor, satisfied that he had found the correct prescription for what ailed his lovestruck patient.


End file.
